Shoplifting Apprehended

  Why do some women shoplift? Surely they know stealing is wrong, illegal, and damages lives. These mystifying thieves seem to be acting on influences beyond logical purposes.

Katie Haskel, a mother of three, has been hooked on shoplifting for more than 20 years. It all started when she was a new mother-bored, restless and struggling. ''We hadn't much money and I had nothing to do but shop," she says. The first item she stole was an outfit for her baby daughter. "I just threw it into her carriage and walked right out of the store." 1

  Shopping was her only pastime? How could limited finances transfer into a shopping hobby? Also, boredom doesn't necessarily bring about shopping, or shoplifting.   This woman apparently had an existing struggle controlling finances, from shopping indulgences. The unavailability of habitual spending may have led to her simply stealing items. Now,

"I'm an executive secretary," Katie continues, "and my husband is an engineer. Money stopped being an issue a long time ago. But shoplifting has remained one." 1

  She has replaced her spending habit with a shoplifting habit. Curiously, the leading stimulus for womens' shoplifting isn't merely a practicality of financial lack:

80 percent of shoplifters have the money to pay for the items they steal. 1

  Cannot women who shoplift reason that pulling out a credit card is easier than getting out of jail?

"It's a disease," says Dr. Zira DeFries, a New York City psychiatrist, "a disease that stems from depression, low self-esteem or anger." 1

"Shoplifting is a way of releasing pent-up emotions," she explains. Ripping off a big store is their way of saying, "I'll show you." 1

  Unresolved psychological issues can overflow into a bizarre and illegal outlet. Shoplifting itself is a metaphor for a hidden, emotional void that a stolen, hidden object might temporarily fulfill.

There is usually some triggering event that reminds these women of the initial trauma they suffered, Cupchik says. 3

Shoplifters perceive it as a way to self-nourish — it temporarily relieves their fear and pain, but it’s really a reflection of their inability to cope with the stressors in their lives.” 3a

  Stress can come either directly (as in low finances, boredom, or tormenting people), or indirectly (from internal trauma, repressed emotions, or frustration over addiction). From a reformed shoplifter:

I had issues where I couldn’t express my anger and it was going inward... but I finally learned that the most important lesson is to love myself first.” 4

  The symptom of shoplifting needs attention, if those women are to resume their support for family.

"You have a woman behind bars, separated in many cases from children. Wouldn't it be better if that person was rehabilitated in the community, rather than being incarcerated?" 4

  Overwhelming stressors may subtly overtake women already burdened with routine responsibilities. The shoplifting impulse needs an emotionally positive channel. The value of family and freedom may encourage struggling women to begin a psychological self-examination, to replace this negative recklessness.   This 1902 article exhibits a history of the shoplifting predicament:

THE UMBRELLA, Which Holds a Lot, but Is Rather Dangerous on a Rainy Day
...More than one shoplifter has been caught at this trick as she walked out into a pouring rain without raising the umbrella (an act which will instantly attract the attention of a detective), or by raising the umbrella in a forgetful moment and thereby unloading and exposing the results of a day's work. 2

References 1. BY ESTHER DAVIDOWITZ
From Woman's Day - January 12, 1993
Why Nice Women Steal http://www.shopliftingprevention.org/WhatNASPOffers/NRC/ArticlesTo Read/Why_Nice_Women_Steal%20.htm
2. NEW TRICKS of the SHOPLIFTERS
New York World
Sunday November 2, 1902, Magazine Section, page 8 (American Newspaper Repository) http://home.gwi.net/~dnb/read/shoplifters/shoplifters.htm
3. Why midlife women shopliftWhen a woman in midlife shoplifts, it usually signals one thing: depression
Updated: 2008-12-18 12:02
Published: 2008-04-28 00:00
By: Valerie Mutton
(3a Paula Farrell, therapist-counsellor for the Group Shoplifting Prevention Program with the Elizabeth Fry Society in Kelowna, B.C) http://www.more.ca/body-and-mind/self-and-spirit/why-midlife-women -shoplift/a/146/2
http://www.more.ca/body-and-mind/self-and-spirit/why-midlife-women-shoplift/a/146/3
4. Women shoplifters won't be jailed by Lib Dems
Published: 1:01PM BST 29 Mar 2005
quote by: Charles Kennedy, the party leader of Lib Dems http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1486664/Women-shoplifters-wont-be-jailed-by-Lib-Dems.html

Self-Forgiveness Concern

    Could unforgiveness of ourselves prevent us from positive action on our behalf? And ruin any victory we could achieve over our challenges?

Where does it come from? Usually from complicated feelings of wanting desperately to be loved but feeling unworthy of it. 2

    Self-unforgiveness and self-destructive behavior seem to be linked. We're undermining what we really want out of life. Why? Why would we remain helpless to improve, just because we think we're unworthy of something, or someone?     This perplexity may be why online information seems to mostly provide some causes and effects of self-forgiveness, or self-unforgiveness.

But self destructive patterns are not always so obvious, nor are their causes always easy to understand. 3

    Self-unforgiveness may result in self-destructive actions, attitudes, and habits.

Remember Self destructive behaviors are rigid, unhealthy patterns of responding to feelings of shame and powerlessness. 3

    Whether we notice or not, a reaction to emotional pain materializes a negative type of escape in our lives. We start creating ways to temporarily put us at ease. More disastrous are the negative ways to cope that put our lives at harm.

Of course, the short term relief from these tactics is horribly outweighed by their long-term consequences. 4

    Participation in our own sabotage could be called insanity. At the very least, it's illogical to let anything hurtful control our lives, even if the initial cause was harsh. We can learn to react in a positive direction toward whatever torment happened. If we understand how we are undermining our improvement, we can take steps to rethink our beliefs.

So if stopping the behavior cold turkey isn’t an option for you, work on decreasing the frequency of the behavior. 4

    We can gradually learn to gain control over our mind and being. Every emotional factor, both bad and good, when seen in perspective, helps advance us toward truth.

Author Philip Yancey writes in What's So Amazing About Grace, "Not to forgive [myself] imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy, and doom myself to suffer the consequences of the wrong." 1

Only forgiveness [of self] can release us from a life of hatred and bitterness. 1

    We can forgive ourselves. We can become stronger, by knowing our worth to others, and to ourselves. Through positivity, it's possible for us to stop self-defeating actions. We can begin our lives' reconstruction, so that we attain our desires. (brackets are author's) References 1. What Forgiveness Isn't
6 myths that may be keeping you from letting go.
Denise George
(kyria)
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2006, July/August, Vol. 28, Issue 4, Page 38 http://www.kyria.com/topics/spiritualformation/theologyspiritualis sues/14.38.html?start=2 2. Therapy Notes : The female self-destruct button
Dr Pam Spurr, relationships expert (From The Times January 22, 2009) http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationsh ips/article5561922.ece 3. Self Destructive Behaviors In Women
By: Michaele P. Dunlap, Psy.D, Clinical Psychologist http://www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/SelfDestr uctBehavMD.htm 4. Stop Self-Destructive Behavior
December 22, 2008 by Christine (Woman Tribune) http://womantribune.com/stop-selfdestructive-behavior

Positive Image Independent of Media

    Controversy exists about the way Media portrays how women might appear in a perfect world, compared to the way women appear in reality. A woman's height versus her weight is one of this controversy's main elements.     The Media illustrates a trend toward being as thin as a person 'should' get, despite height. One wonders how the shocking, ultra-thin women, shown in Media, keep up their strength, since,

Some have even been known to faint on the set from lack of food. 1

    Reality, though, demonstrates that women are all sizes, within all heights.     Much of the online contention points to dieting as a consequence of perceived body image. Suggestions, such as,

Stop dieting; avoid participating in the diet culture. This does not preclude striving to eat healthy foods, but dieting solely to lose weight can be very unhealthy and, for many, is futile. Healthy eating and dieting are definitely not the same. 2

    ...do help to improve body image, yet are a reaction to the Media's underweight portrait; a focus that becomes a sort of 'brainwash'.     I'm not so concerned with controverial body image, only with what thoughts, or adaptations, that women have developed to defend against fantasy perceptions advanced by the Media.     Questions such as these,

How often is the woman's appearance a reason that you admire her? What do you think are the most important attributes a woman can have? What would you like a young woman to most admire in you? In herself? Does our culture seem to admire the same things in women that you do? 3

    ...reveal practical steps toward positive esteem for real life women.     Interestingly, when the Media subtly attempts to influence women's psychology with programmed images, they expose their agenda to brainwash the public, for (probably) monetary desires.     In contrast to this psychology, according to a study with two groups of female smokers, one group in an exercise program, and one group in body image group counseling:

After eight weeks, the body image counseling group showed a rate of smoking cessation that was more than double that of the exercise group (18 percent vs. 8 percent). In addition, the body image group lost more than three times the weight of their exercise counterparts (3.3 pounds vs. less than a pound). These findings were presented this week at the Society for Behavioral Medicine's annual meeting. 4

    Apparently, from the study's data, concentrating in a positive manner on appearance has surprising benefit, regarding not only image perception, but also image reality. That's a better outcome than the result of a focus on Media image fantasy.     Some great tips to start a personal image transformation are at http://www.healthybodyimage.com/
Here's an excerpt from that site's 'Utilize 11 ways to learn to love your body to transform your body image:'

3. Learn to Take a Compliment. Many of us dream of the perfect look. We want to be beautiful, to have others stop and notice us. Yet, when someone gives us a compliment such as, "You look great in that dress," we say something like, "This old thing!" The very thing we are looking for -- recognition -- we brush off. Practice saying "thank you" when someone gives you a compliment. Don't over analyze it, or judge the giver, or make light of it; instead let it soak in and allow yourself to feel really good. 5

    Share here accomplishments, attitudes, and techniques for a positive personal image, by commenting! References 1. Beauty and Body Image in the Media (Media Awareness Network)
http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/issues/stereotyping/women_an d_girls/women_beauty.cfm 2. Love Your Body: More Ideas for Promoting Positive Body Image (NOW Foundation's Love Your Body Campaign)
http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/moreideas.html 3. 10 things you can do (About-Face)
http://www.about-face.org/mc/empower/ 4. Positive Body Image More Effective Than Exercise In Helping Young Women Lose Weight, Quit Smoking (ScienceDaily (Apr. 25, 2009))
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090424122623.htm 5. Learning to Love Your Body: Utilize 11 ways to learn to love your body to transform your body image: (Healthy Body Image)
http://www.healthybodyimage.com/